Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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