What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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