she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
