i just wanna soil my oats bro
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
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I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize