i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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