my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
