i don't want you to think of me as your TA
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
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Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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