About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
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HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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