Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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