belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
