Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize