and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
