Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Say something about gay babies.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The beer is more important than you right now.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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