I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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