It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
