my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize