That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
