Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize