So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Randomize
