I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize