google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
