Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
