Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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