he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
