Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
