Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
