I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
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I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
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He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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