i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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