If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
