ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
