an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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