dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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