I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
