And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize