Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Couch. On fire.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
