just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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