we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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