Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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