I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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