Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
