I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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