As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
is wine microwaveable?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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