i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
