i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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