I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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