I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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