Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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