you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
