The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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