I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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