I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
