Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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