A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
