if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
