I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
