so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize