Define "chronic" masturbator.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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