Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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