I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
