We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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