just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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