I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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