yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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