his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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