isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
His hands were made for my vagina.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
