I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
