It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
