I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
